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Some will listen.

Some won't.

So what?

Do what is best for you.

You may have a grand plan and expectations of what you think your family needs to do to execute your plan. Terrific. Write it down.

Discuss this plan of yours - how they can help you down size, how you want to be treated when you are ill, who you would like to have your great grandfather's watch.

Ask for help. Ask for ideas.

Then be quiet.

Do not pester your family to complete your plan. They are processing the very idea of your changing what they hold sacred - YOUR house/home, YOUR lifestyle.

They may find it terrifying to even think about such major changes.


They may be all set to send you a list of the family treasures they would like, help you empty coat closets, organize the junk drawer.

Your plan is their place to begin accepting that your life and theirs will change whether we like it or not. How they respond to your plan is as unique as they are. One may want to talk, and talk, and talk about what you have planned.

One may just look around and shake their head and say, "Oh, Mom. Really?"

All responses are OK. All different. We on the other hand, have a plan. We are the guide, knowing where we want eveyone to end up. We are the one giving them time to travel at their own pace and waiting for them at the finish line.

Ask yourself if it matters how quickly they get there.

Ask yourself how you can support their journey.

Quietly wait for them to arrive.

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