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This is Memorial Day weekend and an odd one for sure. 2020, the lock down Memorial Day celebration.

We are used to jets flying overhead, parades in the old Presidio, flags flying everywhere and official people making speeches. Must say, our family does fly the massive flag that covered my husband's grandfather's casket. Grandpa was a World War I pilot and lived to tell the tale. We also mention the family members who have served in the wars and are still serving in uniform. We talk about the changes from Grandpa's days to his daughter's as one of the first WAVES. We share our experience of friends being drafted for Viet Nam service. And acknowledge our niece's husband now serving in the Marines. They have all given and we need to be reminded of that. We are following stay in place orders for two months. And complaining. The many family stories and even mementos to share, give a dose of reality to what giving is about. And we fly that

massive flag from the third story windows.

But it is the memorials that fascinate me. There are the massive ones erected in Washington, DC. The statues to commemorate heros or battles that all towns and cities have commissioned. These are ways to honor those who have given their young years, their careers and many their lives to protect us. There are tomb stones. Streets are named after people as are parks and bird sanctuaries. I think about how I want to be remembered, share I walked this earth. What do you think of for yourself? It's a tough one. And if we are cremated and scattered there is no place to mark as the spot where we lay. I want to figure this out so my kids don't have to deal with that decision as they manage all the other aspects of my death.

Even though I have THE LAST GIFT BOX completed ( almost) this is one item I can make a concrete action about now.

I think of my dad every day when I walk or drive by San Francisco Bay where his ashes were scattered. Just a quick thought, maybe a simple one sentence comment to him and I'm good to go. When I garden is when I really feel his presence. This man could sit and hummingbirds would fly up to him and flutter in front of his glasses. It was amazing. In my garden, as I weed or plant, hummingbirds race around - and I think of dad. It's not a monument or bench or tombstone. It's a feeling. Maybe that is all we need. Take time to feel the presence of those who have died that we love .

What do you do on this Memorial Day? How do you remember? And how do you want to be remembered? Please let me know. This is tough and I am open to all ideas. And I hope you will allow me to share your ideas with those Gifters who attend the workshops. We have a gift we can share - how do you remember and want to be remembered?

And pause to thank all those who have protected us so we are free to complain.

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