What is Your Position?

September 22, 2018

 

My three sisters and I spent three days alone together for the first time ever.  No husbands, children, mom, brothers - just us.  I am the oldest with 8, 10,12 years separating me from the "girls".  The boys filled in the gap.

 

We had a grand time, laughing and sharing, hiking and cooking,  remembering family experiences - or not.  One of us would bring up a family trip and another would point out that I wasn't there - I had already left home.   Or I would ask, while 

laughing, if they remembered the time we camped as a family and the bear came.

They looked at me blankly and reminded me they were 5, 7, 9 and have an entirely different recollection.

 

Our memories are all fun to discuss - and varied.  All are correct, real - and when we are trying to make decisions based on our shared experiences it can get confusing.  This really gets challenging when The Last Gift Box is the topic of the conversation.  I share a different memory of how to discuss inheritance, special gifts, death and funerals than my sisters.  Having a discussion about my plans led to some uncomfortable feelings, but it did open the door to more conversations.

 

What is your position in your family?

How does that impact your outlook? 

Your fears?

Your wishes to talk to about your decisions?

 

Sit and remember how you reacted when your siblings teased you.

Were you a turtle, pulling in your head (and heart) for protection?

Were you the lion, fighting back - no one will get me!

Were you the one to walk away, above the frey?

 

There are so many variables to our responses to words and ideas.

As you begin the discussion with your family, just pause and remember how you 

usually respond, how each of your children and siblings respond in difficult situations.  This will give you a clue how to support them in the discussions of you dying and death.   It isn't easy.  You can do this.  

 

Once it's over go on an adventure together and tell the stories you all remember differently.  It's a hoot!

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